Should I stay or should I go?

Two new pieces in the Strib offer some early answers to the pressing question: What should you do when the convention comes?

The Logical Plan: Get out of town or, better yet, the whole country. Run for the hills until the coast is clear.

The Revolution Will Be Televised, And I'll Be On The Ten O'Clock News Plan: Stick around and protest. (Note that I have already called the Herb Brooks statue, so please chain yourself elsewhere. Thank you.)

The Capitalism Is Good Plan: Exploit the fat cats' big wallets by selling them stuff. They like flags, for example, so take your consumer good of choice, slap a flag on it, and sell it at a 900 percent markup. And if anyone tries to bust you for selling stuff on the street corner, loudly protest that the government shouldn't interfere with free enterprise -- that'll get the Elephants on your side. Maybe.

The See No Evil (Etc.) Plan (Or The I Can't See You! Plan): Just go about your daily life and ignore them, in hopes that they'll go away.

***

The Strib's Nick Coleman, not surprisingly, opts for the first

I'm guessing that First Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison, who will be running for reelection, won't get within miles of the place.

He should get out of town. Most of us should.

Meanwhile, some business owners are, indeed, already gearing up for the influx of new customers with certain obsession with Old Glory-festooned objects.

***

Of course, one could combine protesting and profiteering by, say, offering a bus tour of the Twin Cities and a) telling all your friends to show up at points along the route with signs, bullhorns, etc.; or b) "breaking down" in a sketchy neighborhood or remote burgh. . . .

Not that I'm suggesting anyone do anything so subversive and/or cruel and/or humorous. Convention Apprehension is not liable for any lawsuits, criminal charges or beat-downs by Bill O'Reilly fans wearing flag lapel pins, particularly beat-downs resulting from any comments made on this blog, for none of said comments should be taken seriously.

But. . . .